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Don't ask, don't tell

This computer has a dialup connection--and not only a dialup connection, but one that has a maximum transfer rate of...let's see...26.4 bps. The keyboard is on a table, and the monitor is at a neck-craning 45-degree angle to it.

I'm still at my mom's house, see. And though it's very comfortable here--and the coffee is very good--the internet connectivity is gonna make me crazy.

Of course, I could go home. It's just across the river, ten miles away. But there's the outhouse problem. And besides, I'm still in my bathrobe, with a cup of said coffee, and I'm taking one of those "I hate my tormentors colleagues" days off work, and besides high-speed internet, the only thing waiting for me at home is a job of plastering the bathroom walls.

In short, the remodel is taking too long. But it's progressing. I have (cold) running water. Walls. Flooring is imminent, and as soon as that's in and cured...toilet! Whee!

Then I can lose the outhouse, and clean up the debris, and whistle innocently as the City inspector comes to approve the new gas line so I can have hot water at last.

And hope he doesn't notice that I have a whole new, completely un-permitted, bathroom behind the lovely new pocket door.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 9th, 2005 04:26 pm (UTC)
Wait, no no no... it has to be 26.4 Kbps (which would be about 3kB/s). Around 1990 we had a 2400 bps modem.

26.4 is still very very sad, mind. That's about the expected speed of a 28.8 modem. Which is half of dialup potential. :(

And wait, you need permits for bathrooms??
Dec. 9th, 2005 04:51 pm (UTC)
Ooops, you're right. It says 26400 bps. Still, any slower and it'd be going backwards, as they say in Kansas. Or somewhere.

In a well-planned and regulated city like Portland, you need a permit for freakin' everything. Any significant new wiring or plumbing, any structural alterations. It's both a form of taxation and a way of controlling the quality of the housing stock--and, more recently, enforcing newer seismic standards, since we're apparently expecting The Big One any day now.

The fact that my brother-in-law builds everything to withstand Armageddon wouldn't necessarily stop the City from making us tear down the walls so they could see it for themselves.

So, yeah. Cross your fingers.
Dec. 9th, 2005 05:06 pm (UTC)
Oh MG! You're home today and I'm in frigging Corvallis! Bummer big time! Call me on the cell, I am still in range!

I know what you mean about Ed building to meet the BIG DAY! That deck roof he built for us was going to outlast the house itself! Bummer on work getting to you again. Call and we can commiserate!
Dec. 9th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
Leave a couple of dirty towels on the bathroom floor, and a smudge of toothpaste on the sink. They'll never know the difference. (Unless, you know, they have the house's original building plans on file or something.)

You'll be fine. :)
Dec. 9th, 2005 06:02 pm (UTC)
Oooh, good tips! Thanks. Our building inspectors are known for their Enforcer approach, so I need all the subterfuge I can get.
Dec. 9th, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
I was also going to suggest using a tea bag to stain the areas around the drains brownish as from rust, but I don't know if that would be permanent or not and I wouldn't want you to ruin your new shiny fixtures.
Dec. 9th, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)

Yes, there's a limit. Maybe I'll just pass for a really, really good housekeeper who keeps everything sparkling and new-looking.

Of course, there would then be no accounting for the kitchen.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 10th, 2005 04:22 pm (UTC)
Or Jayne could get nekkid.

Depends on the inspector, I guess.
Dec. 11th, 2005 04:23 pm (UTC)
Ooh, good luck with the inspection.

Internet connectivity is a bit funky at times, no? I'm in an internet cafe in Athens, entirely surrounded by chain smoking Russians. But at least there's ADSL.
Dec. 11th, 2005 07:45 pm (UTC)

As an ex-smoker (the worst sort of nonsmoker), I'm laughing because I'd make the same choice. I'd complain bitterly afterwards and hasten to have my clothes washed or cleaned, but ADSL? So worth it.

Didn't realize you were traveling again. Just fun? Work-related? On a secret mission?
Dec. 12th, 2005 05:56 pm (UTC)
Didn't realize you were traveling again. Just fun? Work-related? On a secret mission?

On a secret mission!

No, not really. :) I'm just using up the last of my travel money on a quick (ten day) jaunt around part of western Greece. Then it's back to Dublin and reality.
Dec. 12th, 2005 06:59 pm (UTC)
Sounds heavenly!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )



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