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The other day it dawned on me like...like a big dawning thing: I've outgrown my life. Bits of it have been falling off all along, of course, but there's been an acceleration as retirement nears and all its questions remain open. I feel crowded and kind of itchy, and unthinkable things have become thinkable.

For instance, selling my house. Actually moving. Until just a few months ago, the idea of leaving my neighborhood and the grooves I've worn into the pavement around there made me sad. Now when I think about living somewhere else I feel all perked up and interested, and all the former objections are no more. The thought of getting rid of most of my stuff is exhilarating. Absent family considerations, I'd seriously be thinking about changing countries right now.

As it is, I'm going to look at a condo for sale today in a neighborhood I wouldn't formerly have considered. It's...a start.

Crossposted from Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments.



( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 30th, 2013 12:21 am (UTC)
How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
I am a big ol' traveling armchair and admire people who *can* get out of their grooves.

Depending on what your family needs, some of it could be addressed by Skype and some by cheap flights--and the cost of living would probably be a lot lower, providing savings that can be applied toward plane fare.
Jul. 30th, 2013 02:46 am (UTC)
Re: How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
I know I've said this a dozen times before, but I like the way you think!

The "other countries" I'd probably want to try are likely to be notably more expensive than where I'm living now (England, f'rex), but I'm beginning to see a rent-free future, which would reopen the subject of travel--a subject I had begun to think more or less permanently closed because of finances in retirement.

My sister and I rode up to take a look at a possible condo (by "up" I mean up the slope of the resident in-city volcano into a really bizarre little hidden neighborhood) and I kind of fell in love. So I texted our other sister, the real estate broker, and we'll see!
Jul. 30th, 2013 12:43 pm (UTC)
Re: How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
I am in favor of falling in love with hidden neighborhoods! Fingers crossed for a good deal.
Jul. 30th, 2013 06:12 pm (UTC)
Re: How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
Sadly, the "too good to be true" label applied--sale pending, escrow closing within days. My sis the broker said she'd inquire in the complex to see if anyone else is thinking of selling. Meanwhile, at least I've opened the door in my mind, and it feels like things are moving. I'm pretty excited.
Jul. 30th, 2013 06:35 pm (UTC)
Re: How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
Indeed. I feel like I'm going to have to make some major changes soon, and I admire you beyond measure for how eagerly you're handling yours.

And, as for the previous message, residence abroad will probably only enhance your hipster cred and make you persona grata at the border.
Jul. 30th, 2013 07:02 pm (UTC)
Re: How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
I honestly don't feel like I'm doing, so much as allowing-to-be-done. It's my nature, really, to be drawn rather than to push. So the act of will for me is basically waiting, trusting, and trying not to stress out over my failure to act.

What big changes are on your horizon? I mean, besides running the show the next time a hurricane hits.
Jul. 30th, 2013 07:24 pm (UTC)
Re: How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
Between mid-September and March, I won't be entirely unemployed but I won't have much work to do, so I've been trying to get some new projects organized. I feel like Fandom As I Know It is winding down, and it's time for me to find something else.

And it sounds silly, but I got fired from Book Sale and my yoga teacher moved to Staten Island, leaving me with lots of time on Sundays and Mondays.

Various attempts to volunteer for various things have been rebuffed--I mean, it's true that I am not now and have never been a partner in a fancy law firm, but wouldn't you think that someone who volunteers legal skills would get an answer other than "Huh. Do you want to make cold calls or ring doorbells?"
Jul. 30th, 2013 07:55 pm (UTC)
Re: How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
That doesn't seem right.

re: Fandom As We Know It Winding Down--yeah. I know what you mean. I'm still enjoying a marginal participation, reading a bit of fic, watching one show, having fannish conversations with online friends, but with the ascendancy of Tumblr, which I do not begin to understand or find much value in, I agree that my own glory years of fandom are probably over. It's sad.

You got fired from Book Sale? Seriously, what is wrong with people??
Jul. 30th, 2013 08:16 pm (UTC)
Re: How Stella Got Her Back Out of Her Groove
I've been doing fandom stuff for over a decade, so I can sort of say "OK! Time to move on!"

As for Book Sale, actually it kind of worked out--not having access to free books means my TBR pile is nearly under control, and having four extra hours on Sunday to work has helped with the backlog too.
Jul. 30th, 2013 12:48 am (UTC)
I envy you, that you can entertain the thought of picking up stakes and moving. I feel like I'm being held here in a way. I'd love to shed all this stuff and just fly, but who am I kidding? I'm sunk in this chair like a great big slime-less slug. (i might be a slug but i'm a neat, dry one. ;) )
Jul. 30th, 2013 02:48 am (UTC)
Hah! I used to call myself slugbait. Not even as active as a slug.

Seriously, two weeks ago I'd have said I was stuck in this chair and this house and this life for good. I can't tell you exactly what shifted, but it really shifted. Now not only does upping stakes seem possible, it's suddenly starting to feel wrong not to. IDEK. Life, huh?
Jul. 30th, 2013 12:39 pm (UTC)
I could be wrong about this, but I believe that if you move to, eg, Prague and decide it was an awful mistake--or that it was the perfect idea at the time but now it's not working--you can simply move back and the guards at the Portland border will not shoot you.
Jul. 30th, 2013 06:14 pm (UTC)
I dunno. The border guards here have very high hipster standards...
Jul. 30th, 2013 01:57 am (UTC)
Same here, only I am stuck until I get some income coming in. I really want to be living somewhere else---Vancouver, Italy, Thailand....
Jul. 30th, 2013 02:49 am (UTC)
You're so clear on your goal, though--you've mentioned it several times--that I'm sure you'll create your opportunity. Vancouver would be wonderful!
Jul. 30th, 2013 05:58 am (UTC)
Omigosh the House! I think I have a crush on your house!

But go you for reinventing yourself. :)
Jul. 30th, 2013 06:18 pm (UTC)
Heh. The House is very likely to be For Sale in the near future. Sadly, the way the market in inner Portland is right now, it has almost no value as a house. The likely outcome of a sale would be to tear the house down and put up four row houses or two large modern houses. It makes no economic or environmental sense anymore to have a tiny house on a big lot in the inner city. Part of me will be sad to see it happen, but I'm all in favor of urban density, and it's to my financial advantage, probably, to sell now and let it go.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )



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