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Your growth process is complete

I've been experimenting with the first of Neale Donald Walsch's three "Secrets to Ending the Struggle and Making Your Life Work," the one that says:
  • Your growth process is complete
  • You were already fully evolved when you got here
  • You don't need to become who you are, you just need to be who you are...
...and so forth.

For an uptight perfectionist like me, the obvious place to start was to put self-improvement on hold for a bit; to resist the temptation to fix just one more problem, read one more self-help blog, try one more method.

It's difficult. My brain starts throwing down arguments like "Yeah, but can you draw a line between healing and self-improvement? Are you saying you shouldn't try for better health?"

And blindsides me with, "Ha! Are you implying that there's no more room for improvement? LOL."

I realized that I can't draw a clear line. I have no idea where to stop trying to be better. I can't even see self-acceptance from here. So I said, okay, let's go for three days without working on any inner projects, and find out what happens.

"What? No! I'll lose control entirely. I won't know who I am! I'll eat all the food! I won't get up in the morning!" So we (the two me's, if you see what I mean) negotiated down to a single day.

That day was today. And you know what? I had this weird, weird, WEIRD moment of enjoying my job. Actually, the moment went on for a couple of hours. Or maybe even all eight of them, almost.

It was fun. My job. In the World's Tallest Basement. Color me stunned.

It was fun because there seemed to be absolutely no obstacles between me and the stuff I needed to get done: no fear, no resistance, no boredom, no attention deficit. And what's more, my coworkers and customers completely failed to waste my time, piss me off, not-reply, or be away from their phones. People I needed to talk to walked right up to my desk as if summoned by magic.

And what's even more-more is that ruthless self-editing was suddenly well within my wheelhouse. My emails (always a big part of my day) were models of scintillating brevity. Every one of them got answered. (Sorry for the excess italics. It was all so italic-worthy.)

I was Work Wonder Woman.

And for odd and possibly related coincidences, my cubicle-mate "Norm" announced that he's moving to the next pod, and I'll soon have the place to myself.

And all that just from deciding not to view myself as a renovation project for a single day.

It was awesome.

Crossposted from Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments. | Comment at Dreamwidth.



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