Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Diet Day 173

I'm approaching three symbolic markers in my diet progress: a new middle digit (:D--another ten pound mark, that's all), the statistical change from Obese Class I to merely Overweight, and fifty percent of my goal achieved. All of these things will happen in the next five pounds. The next five pounds are being...kind of stubborn.

I spent my lunch hour in the gym both Thursday and Friday waking up dormant muscles, which are now wailing in protest, though I was very gentle: slow stretches, slow hand-weight lifting, slow isotonic movements. There's a satisfaction in the discomfort, of course. It's proof that I've taken action.

Amazingly, I'm not discouraged. I'm not dying to quit my "diet." It's all going along pretty easily. Mind you, I have some nutty days. I had bacon and chocolate yesterday. For dinner. I mean, that's all I had for dinner. So I'm not running for sainthood or anything. That makes it easier.

I've done a lot of EFT tapping to resolve fear and anxiety before they start steering the ship. My subconscious, being very cunning, hasn't thrown the obvious junk in my path--oh, no. No cravings, no hopelessness, no intimations that my efforts are pointless. Very little shameful "No matter what you do you'll still be ugly (and old!!)" crap either.

No. my subconscious seems to have accepted that I'm going to the weight-loss place no matter what, so it has stopped trying to sabotage the process directly, and instead whispers:
  • It's scary to be thin
  • Getting thin means you have to [try to publish a novel, get a better job, live by your creativity, prove you believe in magic, move to a better neighborhood, become a different kind of person...]
  • Gee! If you never get there, you won't have to do those things!
  • And you can't do those things ha ha ha ha!
So I tap-tap-tap at my incompetence, my lack of creativity, my fear of penury, my beliefs about age, and whatever else comes up...

...and so far, so good. My relationship with food feels stable, my caloric intake remains moderate (even with the occasional chocolate and bacon day), and my weight trend line proceeds gently downward.

Most days, including today, I feel pretty relaxed about the whole thing. I'm gonna go ride my bike now.

Crossposted from Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments. | Comment at Dreamwidth.



Latest Month

December 2018


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow