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*gasp* I forgot to be fat!

The moment I rode away from the bike shop on Clyde back in August, I became aware of something magical: I completely failed to think of myself as a fat person.

I was a little self-conscious about being an obvious newbie, but from that day to this, I get on that damn bike and I'm instantly free from the shameful self-concept that has ruled my life.

What's even more magical is that the effect seems to spill over into my not-cycling time. At a public planning meeting last week, Mayor Sam surveyed the crowd, and one of the questions was "For you, what is the hardest part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle?" The choices were:

A. Time and discipline for exercise
B. A place to exercise
C. A full service grocery store
D. Cooking healthy meals
E. Stress – not enough time to relax

and it hit me like scratching the winning ticket: "None of the above! None of the above!" I have a healthy lifestyle. C, D, and E have been mine for a while, but now I've got a full house, the winning hand. This is a revolution.

I tried on a pretty new outfit yesterday (ruffly print blouse, aubergine sweater, black skinny-leg trousers), and I looked in the fitting-room mirror ("Fitting Room Mirror!" is the name of a horror movie AFAIC...) and thought, hey, that looks nice. I completely forgot to hate myself. This is also a revolution.

I wore my new outfit today as I cycled from work, to my healthcare appointment, to the uppity grocery store, and home. People smiled at me and said hi. My healthcare completely failed to be about losing weight. I completely neglected to feel ashamed about buying delicious food at the skinny-people's store.

I didn't start riding Clyde to create a revolution in my life, but that's what seems to be happening. Sure, I've been younger, I've been thinner, and I've certainly had better knees, but I have never felt better in my whole life.

Comments

makena_smiles
Nov. 24th, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
I love this post because it expresses something I've been feeling but couldn't put into words (due to some of my own lifestyle changes). Thank you so much for sharing your joy!!
emeraldsedai
Nov. 24th, 2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
That's wonderful to hear. Now and then I go out on a limb, and it's good to know that it resonates with someone else when I do.

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