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*gasp* I forgot to be fat!

The moment I rode away from the bike shop on Clyde back in August, I became aware of something magical: I completely failed to think of myself as a fat person.

I was a little self-conscious about being an obvious newbie, but from that day to this, I get on that damn bike and I'm instantly free from the shameful self-concept that has ruled my life.

What's even more magical is that the effect seems to spill over into my not-cycling time. At a public planning meeting last week, Mayor Sam surveyed the crowd, and one of the questions was "For you, what is the hardest part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle?" The choices were:

A. Time and discipline for exercise
B. A place to exercise
C. A full service grocery store
D. Cooking healthy meals
E. Stress – not enough time to relax

and it hit me like scratching the winning ticket: "None of the above! None of the above!" I have a healthy lifestyle. C, D, and E have been mine for a while, but now I've got a full house, the winning hand. This is a revolution.

I tried on a pretty new outfit yesterday (ruffly print blouse, aubergine sweater, black skinny-leg trousers), and I looked in the fitting-room mirror ("Fitting Room Mirror!" is the name of a horror movie AFAIC...) and thought, hey, that looks nice. I completely forgot to hate myself. This is also a revolution.

I wore my new outfit today as I cycled from work, to my healthcare appointment, to the uppity grocery store, and home. People smiled at me and said hi. My healthcare completely failed to be about losing weight. I completely neglected to feel ashamed about buying delicious food at the skinny-people's store.

I didn't start riding Clyde to create a revolution in my life, but that's what seems to be happening. Sure, I've been younger, I've been thinner, and I've certainly had better knees, but I have never felt better in my whole life.


Nov. 24th, 2009 05:34 am (UTC)
Thank you. Life just keeps being interesting. It's amazing.



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