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Diet day 189



The only wardrobe items I haven't had to replace after losing almost fifty pounds (almost...it's sooooo close) are two pairs of black leggings, which, though they just barely stay up now, serve as baggy trousers for a Sunday morning.

Otherwise, everything I launder and hang out to dry these days is either new or unearthed from a very deep layer of my closet. And here's a totally unanticipated benefit: I can fit approximately 25% more of my clothes on my clothesline!

I felt so exposed, somehow, when I had wide clothes to hang out.

A related benefit is feeling fairly complacent when catching my reflection in a full-length mirror.

These are little, almost meaningless, advantages of weight loss when placed beside the improvements to my health and mobility, but they represent a freeing up of the emotional energy I have wasted for years in trying to avoid cameras and mirrors and other visual reflections of my size. Better uses for that energy are almost certainly coming.

Stronger people than I am might say that I could have freed up that energy at any time through simple self-acceptance, but it turns out that for me, losing half a hundred pounds was actually the easier road.

The path down from my highest weight has grown gradually less steep, as I knew it would, but I continue to roll along at a satisfying pace. On advice, I've tweaked a few elements of my eating--lowered the carbs, upped the protein and fat--which is improving my stamina, my mood, and my sleep quality, while having a remarkable cancelling effect on my sweet tooth.

Still, my object hasn't changed: I want to eat now as I plan to eat forever, and I can't be doing with strange, unsociable food restrictions. Bring on the cheese tray!

Crossposted from Dreamwidth, where there are comment count unavailable comments. | Comment at Dreamwidth.

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